Cancer…What do you say?

What do you say to someone who has cancer?

It is so hard to find the right words to say to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. I can’t tell you what to say, but I can tell you the nicest thing that someone said to me when I was sick.


I was holed up in a hotel room, getting ready for my Aunt’s wedding the next day. My hair had just started falling out and I was informed after two rounds of chemotherapy, that my diagnosis was incorrect. It was actually a more aggressive cancer, which meant a more aggressive treatment to kill it. I tried to stay positive, I really did, but there are down moments. Of course there are down moments. This was my lowest point after my diagnosis.

Ann’s Phone Call

It was at this moment that I missed a phone call from my best friend Ann. I wiped away my tears and listened to her voicemail.

“Joy, I just don’t know how one person can handle all of the pain you are going through. So, I’ve decided that if you can send me some of your pain, if we can split it up between the two of us, it would be easier for you. So, if you wouldn’t mind, please send me your pain. I’ll be waiting. I love you.”

I don’t know how she knew to say the perfect thing at the perfect moment to me, but she did. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Of course I couldn’t send her my pain, but just knowing that I had a friend who was willing to take it from me meant so much. The fact that she thought about this and sincerely wanted to take my pain is just unbelievable.

That’s what you will find out about cancer, it can bring out different things in different people. I was lucky enough to have a best friend with a pure heart who wanted to walk through the fire with me. For that I will be eternally grateful.


Cancer… what do you say? I have no idea, but I do know that when someone is present to listen, to watch movies with, to just be there with them… it means everything. If they are ever really down, maybe you can offer to take their pain and let them know you will be waiting.

What do you say to someone who has cancer?


One thought on “Cancer…What do you say?

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Website Built with

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: